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Parenting all over again.

For the last three and a half years I have had custody and guardianship of three of my grandchildren. We brought them home on the 20th of December, 2015. It has been three and a half years filled with many wonderful and happy times, but also times filled with lots of worry, stress and extreme fatigue! Parenting full time isn’t meant for 60+ year olds, but sometimes you have to do, what you have to do! And under the circumstances, we had to!

Today must be a good day! I have been thinking about my life, and feeling thankful. I am so thankful for all the little things I get to be involved in with these kids. The list is endless!

Every Monday, after school, it’s gymnastics for all three. Tuesday it’s tap for Ella, and Basketball for Christian. Friday it’s Park City youth group (Pumped) for Jayden. And Sunday it’s church and Sunday school. Then everyday it’s the things that every family does with their kids. I get the happy good mornings and the last kiss and cuddle at night. The daily I love you, and the grumpy tired tantrums. I get to buy and pick their clothes, along with washing them, folding them and putting them away in their drawers again. I have even enjoyed sewing pretty dresses and dance clothes for my little granddaughter. I love to see her dancing in her special Nana made clothes.

I’ve seen the first day of kindergarten, the first dancing lesson, the first day at school, the first nervous day at high school. The annual dental check ups, the tooth fairy visits and all the excitement that comes with that.

I’ve cuddled them when they have been sick. Made the trips to the doctors. Sought after the best treatments, picked up their medicines and supported them to health. I’ve also disciplined and dealt with bad behavior. And as any good parent does, I’ve talked about how they could do better next time. I’ve also taught to apologize and also the importance of forgiveness. What a privilege to speak wisdom into a child’s life!

I have loved organizing advent calendars and watching the joy each morning brings as we share the days up to Christmas. I’ve also had 4 Christmas mornings and days! Secretly buying the Christmas presents, filling the stockings and wrapping the presents. Sharing in their joy is heart warming.

I’ve made 12 birthday cakes and planned 12 birthday parties. Each birthday has had a theme where the invitations, decorations and cake, have all matched the special theme that the child has wanted. It has been so good to be able to bless them and see the happiness a birthday party gives them.

We have had many weekends away and holidays including two trips to Australia. We did a road trip from Sydney to Alice Springs, spending time at Uluru! Then flew to Brisbane to experience the theme parks and beaches. We even had a weeks holiday on a houseboat on the Hawkesbury River, north of Sydney! We stayed with my eldest and his wife, and another three of our grandchildren. The kids reconnected with extended family and we all loved it.

We’ve had a weekend of fun in Rotorua, a week away exploring Taupo and Mt Ruapehu. We have had a driving holiday to Cape Reinga, the very top of the North Island. We stayed at many places on the way there, and back, and saw all the tourist spots and highlights on our travels.

Right from the first day the children arrived at our home, and it then became their home, we changed, and created the surroundings to suit family life. We added swings, rings, bars, bikes, hoops and scooters. We made a special girls room for a little girl, and a LEGO table for building and storing for the boys. We made built in drawers in the wardrobes so the room space was bigger for play. We installed insulation in the outside walls to make the room warmer and cosy . I guess we were probably going to do that at some stage, but having two little boys in the room was really the motivation to get the job done.

I’ve brought the school stationery and covered the books in plastic wrap with pictures that are special to the boys. Brought lunch boxes that have separate little spaces for the different types of food, then prepared the food and filled the spaces, daily!!! Ahhhhh back to making school lunches!

I’ve been to the yearly triathlons, swimming sports, beach visits, sports games, parent teacher interviews and chats with the principal to discuss the children’s learning experience, or behavior!

We went to the pre high school days visit. Filled out the enrollment papers and then once accepted, returned to the school for the information day. I shared in the excitement and nerves of starting secondary school. Together we went to organize, and buy, the new school uniform. I had this experience with the little 5 year old as she started school as well. Both the start of secondary school and the first day of school are such momentous events in a child’s life. And I got to be the ‘parent’ to support, love and be there for each child! How spoilt am I?

As our household food needs have advanced from just two adults to a family of five, I have kept up with gardening, preserving, freezing and making jam. We’ve brought in bulk and tried to be as wise as possible with grocery purchases. We have had fresh fruit and vegetables straight from the garden to help with healthy living, and to teach the children the benefit of reaping the rewards from a little hard work.

So as I ponder the wonder, and struggles of daily life parenting our grandchildren, I wonder what on earth their parents are doing? What do they do with their day? What is their motivation for living day to day? What are the excuses they are making for not being a healthy influence to their children.

Wouldn’t you think that losing your children would be enough to motivate you to turn your life around? Wouldn’t you want to become the person that your child could look up to? Wouldn’t the thought of someone else bringing your children up, be enough to make you take the steps to sort out the mess you have made of your life? Everyone knows that a child needs to be loved unconditionally, have a home to come home to, food to eat, to feel that they belong, and that they are accepted and important to their Mum and Dad, and extended family. Does addiction mess around with your head that much, that you lose all sense of what it means to be a good parent? If so, I think addiction is a very selfish illness. And I feel very sad for the children. They must feel that they aren’t important to their mum or dad, and the feeling of being neglected by them must bring so much hurt! All I can do is try my best to provide the children with their basic needs, plus add a mighty dose of love, acceptance, value and a sense of belonging to each one of them. I hope and pray that with Gods help, I can do enough to help them to become whole and healthy, and eventually secure and contributing adults. That their sense of abandonment be replaced with the knowledge that both Grandad and I have opened up our home and hearts to them. That they have love and security here with us. We are on their side and we are their loudest supporters!

Young people please listen. When your parents warn you of the dangers of bunking school, being promiscuous, being lazy or selfish, taking drugs, or hanging out friends that are a negative influence on your life; please listen! Your parents love you and they only want you to have the best life that you can have. When you are feeling like being rebellious as a teenager (or anytime in life), please don’t think that just sampling drugs won’t hurt. They can give you an amazing feeling of euphoria, and can be an amazing way out from the normal humdrum way of life. But that feeling can become more desirable than living a clean drug free life. The high on drugs could make normal life seem dull in comparison, and the need for self control and self discipline, just too much like hard work. Believe me, taking drugs can totally mess up your thinking and your life! And it can end up being a full blown addiction!!!

Not only can addiction mess up your immediate life but it can also ruin your future. It can make it very hard to get a job or keep a job! It can take priority in your life where all you want is your next fix. Drugs will just mess with your head and cause you to forget the things that really matter, like your darling children! The effort it will take to clean up your life and become a healthy person again will seem overwhelming and way too difficult. But it can be done! It will be a long bumpy road but one well worth traveling. Get help immediately! Go and get some counseling and find out what it is that triggers your need to take drugs. If the pain of change is lesser than the pain of staying the same, you will make the change. If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you’ve always got! Be brave and get better not bitter.

In conclusion, I couldn’t imagine raising our grandchildren without my amazing man, their Grandad. And I am so very thankful for his love and support. Together we are honored, and yet exhausted, to be parenting all over again. These are great kids and we love them very much. Our lives are enriched because of them. And yes, I am thankful.

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Searching for truth.

As I am a Christian, I have always known that there are several differences between what we believe about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and Salvation; and what the Jehovah Witness believe.

Because of events of the last couple of weeks, I have once again been thinking about the differences between our doctrines. I feel very sad that people who love God, and have a desire to live for Him, and generally think that they are pleasing God, are actually living under deception.

Just take the name Jehovah for one thing. There is no J in the Hebrew language. The letters making up the name of God in the old testament sound more like Yahweh. That is the name for God that is more correct than Jehovah, yet the name Jehovah has become very important in the Jehovah Witness faith and in their bible translation.

Now if you really want to know what the names of God are, and the meaning of those names found  in different verses of the Bible, here is a link to a great resource…

https://www.gotquestions.org/names-of-God.html

So, I have been reading the New World translation and comparing it with the King James Bible. I have found words that are changed or missed out throughout the whole New World translation. I believe the King James Bible is a more correct translation, and I cannot understand why people of the jw faith, haven’t looked into the differences. Do they really want to follow the one true God? If they do, I am sure that a ‘thinking’ person would question what they are actually reading, instead of just blindly believing everything that they are told?

I have also found a great teaching on You Tube called ‘Jehovah Witness; beliefs, practices and errors. I found this video very informative. I am sure that if a Jehovah Witness follower would just dare to watch this video, they couldn’t help but question what they are doing with their life. So my challenge to you, any jw reader of my blog, do yourself a favour, and just have a look! If you are so sure that what you believe is true, what is the harm? God gave you a free will. The only one you should be worried about pleasing is God alone. The elders and leaders of the Jehovah Witness faith shouldn’t dictate to you what you can read or listen to. As I said I am a Christian, and have been for many years, and after looking into what Jehovah Witness’s base their doctrine on, I cannot believe that people belong to this group! So please, have a look at the video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lE5KQHf8fX0&t=784s

But, you know what? God loves you and He loves you so much that He sent His son Jesus to die in your place. Jesus was the perfect sacrifice for our sins. Because of His death and resurrection, we can have right standing with God. We can be forgiven and washed clean!  All it takes is a repentant heart and the desire to become a true child of God.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

John 10:9 and 10  that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Romans 10:13 For “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

 

 

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A Wounded Spirit

Have you ever had something happen to you that made you feel like you have been crushed internally? That you can hardly breathe because on the depth of pain that is inside? All you can think of doing is crumbling to the floor and sobbing! You don’t want to be with anyone, see anyone, or even hear any words of encouragement from anyone. The hurt is so bad, that you literally feel heavy, despondent, despised, unworthy, useless and no good to anyone. You don’t feel suicidal, but you just know that nothing you can do will make you feel better (well not immediately anyway), you just are too emotionally hurt and sad!

(Proverbs 17:22 NIV) A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
(Proverbs 15:13 NIV) A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
Prov 18:14 The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, But who can bear a broken spirit?

I have had several experiences of brokenness in my life. Each time the crush of the hurt is so overwhelming,  I want to run! I want to get as far away from the person/people that have hurt me, and never have anything to do with them again….EVER!!! Just the thought of the experience brings all the pain and emotion of the moment straight back to the present. And, I feel that deep sorrow all over again. It is just awful! Tears well up and I feel so sad inside.

My immediate response is that I want to be alone. I don’t want to ever let myself be in a position where I can be vulnerable and open to being hurt again. I don’t want to be in any environment that I don’t feel safe, by just being me! So out come the walls of protection. I gain the ability to be around people but never let them get close enough to cause pain. Now remember, this isn’t physical pain, like a broken bone, or a bump that causes a bruise. This is an emotional pain that is so deep, that you feel the only one you can trust with your heart is yourself.

The last time I felt such deep hurt like this was about 5 years ago, that was until yesterday! And I am sad to say that the damage of the moment, is still just as real and raw as the first time I experienced that deep wounding in my spirit, in the part of me that makes me, me!

And here I am just 24 hours later and I have survived, once again. I’m not totally over the incident. When I think about what happened, I can easily feel that hurt coming back, but it is losing it’s power over my well being! How, you ask? Because if you are human and living around other humans, you are bound to get hurt, just like I did yesterday. So you too may have experienced the wounding deep in your spirit as well.

(Psalm 34:18 NIV) The LORD is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit

Have a read of the link below, and then come back to me :

https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-brokenness.html

Does God care about my (or your) brokenness? You bet! He is close to us and he saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Ultimately though we have the choice. (1) We can wallow in our hurt and self pity, or (2) we can choose to invite God into our pain, and bring healing. Sounds easy but believe me it’s not.

(1) We can let the painful circumstances of life embitter us, and in a way that is the easy path, because somehow re-living the moment helps to remind us that our feelings are justified. We can blame the other person for making us feel that way! In an unhealthy way, by withdrawing from people, because people hurt, you are heaping more suffering upon yourself. The other people involved are continuing to walk the walk of life, without giving you a second thought, while you suffer, and continue to suffer!

(2) Or you can address the problem full on. Ask yourself why the event happened, what led up to it, and were you yourself responsible in any way. Could you have done things differently? Then decide that whether you are an innocent victim or not, you have the ability to forgive those involved and move on in your own life. If you can’t forgive because the pain is so real and raw, then pray. Invite God into the pain! He gives us the grace to forgive others even when you feel they don’t deserve the forgiveness, or when you can’t forgive them in your own strength.

A quote from that link says…  God can take what has been broken and remake it into something better, something that He can use for His glory.

Another quote… The solution can never come from our own efforts or striving, but comes only from Him. Only when we recognize our need for God are we able to take our eyes off ourselves and focus them on God and Jesus Christ. Only when we stop thinking about ourselves and start thinking about what Jesus did for us can we begin to heal. Only when we admit our need and ask God into our life, can God begin to make us whole. Only when we confess that we are broken can God make us into what He wants us to be. Once we let go of self and place God at the center of our lives, everything else falls into place (Matthew 6:33)

Knowing the character of God and His desire to reconcile all man to Himself, helps to understand that reconciliation, where possible, is the best answer. In the past, I have withdrawn from people that I saw as hurtful and unsafe to be with, for long periods of time. I just couldn’t trust them again with my heart. But as I’ve got older and wiser (am I kidding myself?), I’ve realized that it is not God’s way. He desires reconciliation.

My first choice of action, once I have had time to recover from the shock of the ordeal, is to talk to God, and pour out my pain to Him. I pray/cry/shout out the injustice, and tell Him all about my pain. The next thing I do (maybe not immediately) is apologise to the person/people that have hurt me. Whether I am the guilty party or not is irrelevant, taking ownership of the event that took place is a key. Because actually, it wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t there! So in a way you are also responsible. Also, the act of apologizing opens up the communication again. I didn’t want to even be in the same room as the person who hurt me two days ago (it has taken me a couple of days to write this), but yesterday, we sat together and talked about the differences in our personalities, how we react to situations differently, and that we still love each other in spite of our differences. And there was healing! We both admitted that we had a really bad sleep the night of the event! So we were both affected by it! Thank God it is now sorted and finished with.

Sadly, other times you make offer of an apology, and try to reconcile and open up the lines of communication again, but the other party isn’t interested. Five years ago that happened to me. Instead of seeking reconciliation, they justified their actions, got defensive, and made little acknowledgement of the pain involved in the whole process. Well certainly not mine. I felt of no value to them and that I wasn’t worth the effort of being loved and understood through the pain. They were prepared to lose my friendship and move on in life without me. And that hurt! But knowing that I was prepared to have a relationship with them again, brought me freedom to move on with my life. I now see them regularly and it doesn’t hurt. I want them to have a great life, but I am aware that we will possibly never be as close as we once were. Maybe our friendship was just for a season and it came to a natural end. Living through the painful events that caused the breakdown was horrendous, and I can still remember the grief it all caused. But by chosing to forgive, and then to continue living, and loving others, has brought healing.

Some relationships that end rather painfully, and forgiveness has been sought, and reconciliation has been made, may still never continue as they did in the past. But that is okay if reconciliation has happened. Neither has been left with the wounds of the past unhealed. Sometimes, the unhealthy thing to do, is to actually to try to continue with the relationship. As long as there are no bad feelings or wrong attitudes held against the other person/people. You can just continue to pray for them and ask God to bless their lives.

Today I feel great, and although sad the event happened two days ago, I am at peace with the outcome. We will continue our friendship and value each other whole heartedly. And love each other.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16)

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

A new commandment I give to you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. (John 13:34 & 35)

And…. thank you Instagram, p31obs

Praising God always helps with healing for me. And the words in the song are very important. My latest listen is this song. I hope it can help you too x

https://youtu.be/YNqo4Un2uZI

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Addiction!

This video is adapted from Johann Hari’s New York Times best-selling book ‘Chasing The Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs.’

This video came up on my Facebook feed and I found it so very interesting. I wanted to share it on my blog, to see if others may find it just as thought provoking and helpful as I did.

My opinion after listening to the video…

Loneliness and disconnection is horrible, and can have a horrendous outcome on a persons life. We all need to feel we are loved, we belong, we are accepted and we have a sense of purpose. Withdrawing into isolation from others is a reaction, and the alternative is the need to be proactive in a positive way. To turn your life around can be very challenging for those who already feel inferior, unaccepted and worthless. Extremely challenging for those who have already opened the door to addiction as a way of escape to the daily pain that life brings them.

A desire to change takes commitment, lots of loving support, choosing to be vulnerable, and also huge bravery! You can’t do it alone! Building new relationships with the right people is a huge step forward. Good counselling, loving family and positive friendships! But the warning I give is that we should never allow others to give you your self esteem. If they can give it to you, they can also take it from you! We are all damaged people. Life can be amazingly wonderful, but it can also be cruel! What we put into a relationship comes not only from our choice to be the best to another and love them totally, but also from our life experiences, good and bad. And we make mistakes! We are human and that is one of the conditions of being human!

Praise God He loves us unconditionally, and as we are! He never gives up on us or leaves us. In Him we are loved, belong, are accepted and our life has purpose 🙂 To have a personal relationship with God is solid! It’s like having your house built on solid ground. When the storms of life come, you can rest assured that your faith in this loving God, will help you stand firm. ‘For God so loved the world (everyone… even you), that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life (NKJV). We are all equal at the foot of the cross! Everyone! There is no bias!

I know there are lot of people that disagree with me about faith in God, but no-one can argue with the peace that I have from knowing who I am in Christ 🙂 I have no fear for the future as my life is in His hands 🙂 He is my hope for the future and my ever present help for today.

 

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A Test Of Faith

In August 2014, I left New Zealand for our second son’s wedding in Poland. If you are a regular reader of my blog you will know that after the wedding, we went on a Tour of the Balkans, all of which is written about on here with many photos of the wonderful sights and places visited. After the tour I flew to London to Nanny our youngest grandchild for three months, followed by a wonderful Christmas in Sydney. I finally arrived back in New Zealand mid January 2015.

Before I left New Zealand in the August I noticed that a small freckle on my right forearm seemed to be a little darker than it used to be. I wondered if I should be worried about it, but decided that it only looked like a freckle and should be okay. I told myself it was moles that you need to be worried about.

Because of the position of the spot, it caught my eye regularly, and I would touch it and pray that it was okay and nothing serious. But it definitely was getting darker and it seemed to have a little line running from it.

This photo was taken on Robin's Birthday, the 2nd of January 2015. Can you see the spot? It had been on my arm for five months, that I can remember anyway!
This photo was taken on Robin’s Birthday, the 2nd of January 2015. Can you see the spot? It had been on my arm for five months, that I can remember anyway!
Here is a closer up view of it!
Here is a closer up view of it!

Our eldest daughter is a nurse and she remained in New Zealand while we had our overseas trip. We met up again four months later at our family Christmas in Sydney. As soon as Joanna saw my arm, she said that she didn’t like the look of the spot and that I needed to get it looked at by a Doctor as soon as possible. But I was in Sydney and still had two weeks holiday left!

This is the spot on the 24th of January 2015. Still on my arm, and I still haven't been to the Doctor!
This is the spot on the 24th of January 2015. Still on my arm, and I still haven’t been to the Doctor!

By mid February I decided that I really should get it looked at and went to my GP. He wasn’t too sure about it but had another Doctor run a clinic monthly who did surgeries for unusual spots or moles. And I was booked in to see him!

On the 2nd of April I arrived for my appointment and as soon as I walked in the door, immediately the Doctor said he could see why I had come, he grabbed my arm, and said that it is a Melanoma! He was almost certain, and so was his wife, his nurse! Oh my goodness, why had I left it so long to get it checked out? Please get your spots and moles checked people!

It was cut out straight away and sent for testing.

Now this bandage doesn't look too bad does it! But believe me he took a huge hunk out of my arm!
Now this bandage doesn’t look too bad does it! But believe me he took a huge hunk out of my arm!

Because I am on blood pressure tablets it bled fairly badly and needed internal dissolving stitches to help stop the bleeding. A clean dressing was put on a week later, and the stitches were removed a week after that.

A little bigger than I thought!
A little bigger than I thought!

So from one little mole to an inch long scar. But a scar I can cope with. What I was concerned about was that the Doctor said that if it did test out to be Melanoma, the most serious form of cancer, I could be dead within eight months! Oh, he also said that even if I had come along any earlier, and it was Melanoma, the prognosis maybe wouldn’t be any different. I had two long weeks to wait for the results!

Now for the emotions to set in! As a Christian, I knew and believed that God could heal! That Jesus took all our sickness on Himself when he died on the cross for us. I also knew that sometimes He doesn’t heal, that it isn’t always in His plan. So I was faced with the possibility that I may die a whole lot earlier than I wanted to! Yet I had prayed over that spot many times over the last eight months and I believe God hears our prayer. I also know of a couple of amazing Christians who died of cancer, even thought many people were praying for them. And I know people suffering the effects of cancer now!

I really was in Gods hands and had to trust Him completely for whatever the outcome. I actually wasn’t upset at the fact that I could die, we all are going to die eventually, but I was worried about the process of death (yet, still hoping that everything was going to be okay). I know that I have salvation, that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour. I also know that I have His Holy Spirit within, as a seal, a promise that I am a child of God. So I know that I am going to Heaven when I die. Yes, I believe in Heaven! But I also became more aware of the many people who have no faith in God, and no hope for the future, and are going through the same wait as I was. Is it cancer or isn’t it? Am I going to die? What are their thoughts about death, and heaven and hell? Do they think that when they die, that is it?

The big questions of life huh! I believe us humans are made of body, soul and spirit. The body is the flesh and bones. The soul is the mind, will and emotions. But the spirit of man is what relates to God! The Spirit in us is the hope of glory!

As we just had a long weekend, Anzac weekend, on the Friday I drove a three hour trip to Palmerston North to pick up my grandchildren and then the three hour trip back home to New Plymouth. This to be repeated again on Monday to take them back home. While I drive along, I choose to listen to podcasts. This time I listened to three different ones on the way to Palmerston North. I was so excited in my spirit when I listened to them because the explanation of Death, Heaven and Hell was just great and an applicable topic for me! I would love it if you my reader would have a listen and then leave your comments/opinions later on. I guess the sermons are for Christians, but I am sure an unbeliever would also find them great to listen to, ponder about, and maybe be challenged about, especially if you are facing a life threatening illness! And I don’t want any of my loved ones to miss out on this free gift of salvation. Your eternity depends upon it! Please listen with an open mind 🙂

After a L O N G two weeks, I phoned my Doctors to get the results of the mole and flesh that was removed. It was a Melanoma but in Situ! Which means that the cancer was contained to the mole region only. There was 4mm of clear cancer free flesh under the mole. I am now booked in to go and get a further piece of flesh removed as the preferred clearance is 5mm! Really that is minor compared to what it could have been.

From this experience I recognise the fact that none of us know what we could face in the near future. Our days are numbered, and we don’t know when our time is up. What we can be sure of though is where we will end up. The choice is ours to make! But it has to be made while we are still alive and living on this earth. Accept Jesus and His gift of salvation, or reject Him?

If you want to accept and believe I have a short prayer for you to pray…

Dear God in heaven,

I come to you in the name of Jesus. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sins and the life that I have lived; I need your forgiveness. I believe that your only begotten Son Jesus Christ shed His precious blood on the cross at Calvary and died for my sins, and I am now willing to turn from my sin. You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved. Right now I confess Jesus as the Lord of my soul. With my heart, I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead. This very moment I accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Saviour and according to His Word, right now I am saved. Thank you Jesus for your unlimited grace which has saved me from my sins. I thank you Jesus that your grace never leads to license, but rather it always leads to repentance. Therefore Lord Jesus transform my life so that I may bring glory and honour to you alone and not to myself. Thank you Jesus for dying for me and giving me eternal life.

Amen.

If you just cannot pray this prayer of salvation, as you aren’t quite sure about it all, just ask God to reveal Himself to you and I am sure He will. He loves you 🙂

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Pre-Christmas in London

I am amazed at just how much effort is put into making the Christmas season so very special here in London. I guess we are no different in New Zealand but the largeness of this place just seems to make it all the more extravagant!

Firstly there is the ‘Winter Wonderland Show’ at Hyde park. Judy and I walked through on a Monday night after it opened over the previous weekend. Fortunately Monday night wasn’t too popular, and it was an easy walk through and very enjoyable. By the next weekend when I went again, it was crowded. You could hardly move with all the people, but there was a great atmosphere. People were happy and having so much fun. I took heaps of photos but think this you tube clip will help show just how BIG the place is!

The streets are all lit up with amazing Christmas lights but the shop windows have become like a super competition to see who produces the most WOW factor. Let them fight it out I say while I wander through the crowded streets and admire their efforts!

There are plenty of you tube movies about each store as well, especially as they finally unveil their window displays to the public. Here is a Harrods video…

And another store that is very well known. It was voted the best department store in the world!

Here is a sample of their in store decorations! They really are amazing!

Another store with the big reveal is Fenwicks. This Fenwicks is in Newcastle but there is a huge store in Bond Street, London.

Walking home one night C2 and D2 took us into the store Fortnum and Mason. I’d never heard of the store before but I was certainly in for a treat. This store is for the RICH! I’ve attached a you tube clip of this store. Its by a chap who seems to make a living making You Tube videos about London.

John Lewis is another big department store and it’s Christmas lights are turned on with the Oxford Street light up, but they have an advert which is televised during the Christmas season. The little penguin named Monty has become very popular. Everyone wants a Monty Penguin and his little girlfriend Maude.

I frequently buy online from Debenhams Store for presents for London friends. Here is their Christmas advert and you can see some of their instore decorations as well.

Here is a link I found with a write up about each shop and their window display.

https://www.central-london-apartments.com/blog/londons-christmas-window-displays-2014/

And here is what Covent Garden got up to getting their 2014 Christmas decorations up! And believe me it all looks amazing!

We were lucky enough to wander through Covent Garden and see these wonderful decorations in person.

Another big thing is when the Christmas lights get officially turned on. The public come out in force to celebrate the event. It’s like a huge concert and goes on for hours.  Here is Regent Street lights switch on 2014

I could only find a longer video for Oxford Street but what a celebration it was!

This short video is a general shop window one…

Libertys of London had a real celebration for the window display reveal. Once again it’s quite a long video but shows the excitement involved in this Christmas season at Liberty. It’s a wonderful store but once again quite expensive!

And if you walk along Southbank, the River Thames walkway you will also see the Christmas Markets. Actually this guy has done heaps of video clips on You Tube about Christmas in London.

I have noticed that there is a huge lack of Nativity scenes in London’s Christmas Celebrations. How sad is that! We are definitely seeing Christ taken out of Christmas, and with the stores each competing for sales, I guess ‘Jesus is the reason for the season’ doesn’t help provide them with store purchases. The meaning of Christmas has become buy buy buy! Gift giving even when you can’t afford it. Well gift buying anyway!

The best gift of all and it doesn’t cost a cent is the gift that God gave 2014 years ago. It was in the form of a little baby, God’s son Jesus Christ. He died 33 years later as a sacrifice for our sins, and so that we could have eternal life. This gift of salvation is free, you only have to accept it! John 3;16. For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, so that he who believe in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

Having attended Hillsong London a few times while in London, I have been amazed at their influence in this city. The church is huge and is growing daily! Now they are having a Christmas celebration and it does include Jesus! It does has Father Christmas but would certainly share the true reason that Christmas is part of our lives today. Here is a video of last years production. It is 29 minutes long but a great look! If that sounds too long for you though, there is another link on my page for this years service, go to that one 🙂

To find out more please open/download the link below and check out the provided information 🙂

Hillsong Christmas Carols Press Release_CVH (1) (1)

So… it will be at Wembley Arena again and the cost is 5pound per person. The 7.30pm Carol service is full already but there is another service at 3pm. This will be a Christmas celebration that you won’t forget in a hurry. In fact it could be life changing for you 🙂

Have a look…

I’m actually really sad that I can’t go to this Christmas service. I leave London on the 19th of December, but for those of you who live in London, don’t miss out!

Don't miss out! I'm sure it will be a Christmas Concert you will remember and be thankful for... for eternity
Please share with me how the evening/afternoon went. I’d love to hear all about it 🙂
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Joy? – the secret!

Ever had one of THOSE weeks? Well I have just had one and barely survived! Okay a slight exageration here, but it was a tough week!

Started off on Saturday night. I came home from a very busy afternoon shift at work and ended up having a stupid discussion/argument with a person who I love very much! Yes, my halo slipped badly! I don’t know why I bothered to get involved in the discussion as I already knew we were poles apart in our opinions on the matter. Normally I would try to keep peace knowing that our relationship was way more important than ‘who was right’ at the time, but fatigue took over and I didn’t back down. Consequently, I have made a call to say sorry, and to try to get our relationship back to good standing. But I guess it may still take time. This was definitely a time when I could have done with God putting a guard on my mouth. I guess my strong self will was much bigger at the time! Hmmm a lot of self examination went on for the next few days.

On the Tuesday I decided to take my Mum and sister to the ‘Tuesday Special’ movies. We went to the movie ‘The fault in our stars’

Have you seen it? Oh my goodness…. it is not a good movie to go to when you are already feeling emotional! I cried the whole way through. Actually the whole theatre cried! One lady was even sobbing! But really, it is a movie to see. Go have a look for your self, and remember to take your tissues please 🙂

Then I had a call to let me know that church friends of ours adult daughter had had an asthma attack. And she died! She died! I still can’t believe it. She was beautiful, active and a great personality. A mum to three young lads and a devoted wife. She was also sister to two other young ladies who we know really well. What a shock to the whole family. My heart breaks for them all! Gina was farewelled on Saturday morning to a crowd of approx 650 people. Sadly I had to work so I couldn’t attend, but my thoughts have been with them all constantly.

And throughout the whole week I have been sick. It started with a sore throat, and a whole week later I am still coughing…. all day long! I worked Saturday morning, Sunday afternoon and then Monday afternoon and had several coughing fits during the time. Talk about embarassing! Nose running, tears falling and a tickly itchy throat that demanded several coughs to fix! Thankfully other than the wasted feeling after a coughing fit, I actually don’t feel too bad.

And what did I learn from my week? Below is my reading from this Saturday. As I read the first portion of the scripture I felt like it was describing my week. A week of despondency!

Although the fig tree shall not blossom, 
neither shall fruit be in the vines; 
the labour of the olive shall fail, 
and the fields shall yield no meat; 
the flock shall be cut off from the fold, 
and there shall be no herd in the stalls: 

Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, 
I will joy in the God of my salvation. 

The LORD God is my strength, 
and he will make my feet like hinds’ feet, 
and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. 

Habakkuk 3:17-19 KJV 

But the last part of the reading helped me to refocus! Yet I will rejoice in the Lord and joy in the God of my salvation, and He will be my strength! No matter what is happening around me! God knows it all anyway and I can trust Him with the details 🙂 Praise God!

The Joy of the Lord is my strength!

Where does your inner strength come from?

 

 

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A Parent’s Love

Over the years of being a parent I have had so many happy loving moments that they are too numerous to mention, and each moment makes the role of being a parent worth the sacrifice and commitment of being a Mum. I have loved being a Mum (and still do) and I am now enjoying the role of being a grandparent. If you look at my last few posts you will see that we have been blessed with three more lovely grandchildren this year alone….making our grandchildren seven in number. Wow…God is good 🙂

There has also been those times when parenting brings a hurt that is almost unbearable. These are the times when you try to share a desire for the very best for your child, when you give the best wisdom you can from your own life experience, or wisdom that comes from God and His word to your child, but they just choose to walk a path that is completely opposite. As a parent you wonder why? What did I do wrong? What could I have done better? And yes… I know what you the reader would be saying. ‘You can’t live your child’s life for them’, ‘They have to grow up and make choices and live by the results of those choices..and grow through them’… But there is nothing wrong with wanting the very best for your child!

Seeing your child with wounds of the heart because of their wrong choices is one of the most painful things in life. You see…you love them so much, you don’t want them to be hurt that way. Falling over and skinnng a knee can heal really quickly, painful at the time, but actually has no life long effect. Being rejected, cheated on, disrespected, used and lied to is much more damaging. These hurts can take a lifetime to be healed from, and sadly, unless attended to,  they can also affect future relationships. These wounds of the heart are that severe! Believe me I know. Those of you who know my history will know that I am talking from experience. And…because of my life, I have never wanted my children to suffer those very deep and painful wounds for themselves.

True healing can come from a relationship with God, but it can take years. It is a process. How much better it would be to never have made those wrong choices? I hope you, the reader has faith. God loves you, and His plan is perfect!

While travelling home from Sydney today I watched a movie called ‘Grace Unplugged’ It’s a great movie about a father trying to lead his child by example (hopefully we all do that), and to help her make decisions that he felt were the best for her to make (yes I could see where he was coming from), but instead the child, Grace, gathered resentment towards her father and his faith, and walked completely in the opposite direction. And sadly, both ended up with huge regrets…. the ending you can probably guess, but the movie is well worth watching to see the end for yourself. Anyway…. I could see some similarity in my life!

Once home and reading through my many emails I came across a link to a ‘You Tube’ clip from a church that I regularly watch messages from. This video/teaching is great! Well I think so anyway 🙂 And, I wonder just how many parents of young adults that are getting into boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, would like to have access to great teaching on this very subject. Below is the link. Have a listen…and maybe send the link to your young adult to have a listen to as well….then, like me…. pray pray and then do some more praying 🙂

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It’s Easter!

Every morning I read ‘The Word For Toady’. It’s a devotional book that I receive every three months from Radio Rhema, New Zealand (RBG). For each day there is a scripture to read followed by a little message that explains the scripture a little further. The explanation is written by Bob and Debby Gass from UCB International.

Now I have been receiving these books for approximately 20 years! How do I remember to read it, you ask? Well, I have it sitting on a shelf in my toilet, and when I go to the toilet first thing in the morning, I read my ‘Word for today’. Too much information….you say… Well it works for me! Hehe 🙂

This morning is the 18th of April, and it is Good Friday here in New Zealand. The title for today’s reading is ‘You get another shot’, and the scripture for today is…

‘…”Lord, remember me when You come into Your Kingdom”…Jesus said… “Today you will be with Me in Paradise.”‘ Luke 23:42-43 NKJV

And the further reading today just touched my heart, and I want to share it with you.

Author Charles Swindoll writes: ‘If ever there was a deathbed conversion, that was it. The thief lived his entire life a sinner, a hoodlum…in no way did he prove himself worthy…so what had he done to receive eternal life? What did Jesus accept? Faith – simple, unadulterated, unproved faith in Christ. That’s all God requires and all we can offer. The snapshot of Jesus’ life the thief saw convinced him He was the Son of God.

Their dialogue teaches us three important truths: (1) No one is ever too far gone. Think of someone you’ve written off… ‘Oh, they’ll never come to know Christ. I’ve tried everything…he’s never going to respond’. When you’re tempted to think anyone is beyond the reach of grace, remember the criminal on the cross. (2) Your real message is your life. Socrates once called words ‘stupid things’. When your life draws the attention of lost people, you have sufficient proof to back up the words you use. When you let God do the work in their lives, and yours, you’ll be amazed how He brings the appropriate words. (3) All God requires and accepts is simple faith. If you’re working hard to earn your way into the Kingdom…you’re on the wrong path. Think about it – how many works will be enough? When salvation is by faith, all the work and all the glory are God’s.

Never doubt your acceptance into His family when you come His way. The thief didn’t doubt…He didn’t have to make any promises. He believed with all his heart, and was saved.’ You can be too!

You too can read the ‘Word for today’ everyday. I will put the link for todays message below and then you can read each days new message via the internet…..enjoy

http://www.rhema.co.nz/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2638:you-get-another-shot&catid=65:the-word-for-today&Itemid=164

 

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Looking back, I can now see that God was working!

Way back in April I posted about my job ending at the ANZ Bank and how upset I was about the way I was treated during the whole process. I must admit I hadn’t really enjoyed my job as much after the ANZ dropped the National Bank Brand, but I was good at my job, and I felt that their unwillingness to offer me another position was very sad. I also had the perfect working hours and couldn’t imagine finding another job with part time work available. Little did I know that God was in control, and He had a plan for me that He knew I would be really happy with. I believe that we can ‘cast our cares on God, because He cares for us’ but as I cast my work cares upon Him, praying for Him to work out the details, I didn’t really think he was answering when the ANZ job ended.

But on my post on the 22nd of May, I told you about my new job and how it was an amazing answer to prayer. I have now worked about 10 days and I love it! I am really happy! I am meeting lots of really interesting people. I am helping people that are sick and hurting. I am using a computer daily and doing all the reception duties mainly on my own…and it’s great!

So way back in April I couldn’t see the future and I was wondering what was going to happen. Now I can see that God had it all in hand. He helped me let go of my old job and He opened the door to my new job. He took away the sadness and frustration that I had at work and replaced them with contentment and satisfaction with a job I enjoy.

Praise God!

During the stage from unemployment to employment again, I have had 2 more trips to Sydney and have also planned a trip to Italy with my sister Judy and niece Teresa, for 2 weeks in August and following that 2 weeks travelling with C2 and D2. I will leave NZ on the 1st of August and return to New Zealand on the 31st of August. I am so excited.

I have also been able to do some more house renovations. I have stripped wallpaper, prepared walls for painting and then painted three rooms! And they look great. Robin finished our bedroom walls for me while I was away in Sydney. I took some photos to show C1 and D1 the changes. I love them…what do you think?

No updating here but look at the clean fresh dining area!
No updating here but look at the clean fresh dining area!
Didn't update this, but it is clean and tidy
Didn’t update this, but it is clean and tidy
This area used to be dark blue and it didn't have the big storage cupboard...which I am loving!
This area used to be dark blue and it didn’t have the big storage cupboard…which I am loving!
This are is the fireplace lounge looking into the big lounge. This was the last area I painted before starting again recently.
This are is the fireplace lounge looking into the big lounge. This was the last area I painted before starting again recently.
My new bedroom colour with a new Duvet cover and pillows.
My new bedroom colour with a new Duvet cover and pillows.
Joanna's room. This room used to be dark green! What was I thinking?
C5’s room. This room used to be dark green! What was I thinking?
This is Jessica's room. It used to be blue. I painted this room quite awhile ago.
This is C6’s room. It used to be blue. I painted this room quite awhile ago.